Indian Ads are like our movies, bright, loud and in our face. We love them, but there are a few things which make us feel like this:
And much like our movies, they are filled with way too much fake excitement and fake enthusiasm. Like when you are not really excited about something but you feel the need to match your friend’s enthusiasm. Like this:
Indian Ads need some transformation, and hence we decided to scribble down 13 things you don’t want to see in Indian Ads anymore!
- People in lab coats
From toothpastes to shampoos, most personal care products have middle aged men in tide-washed white lab coats telling us that they approve of the brand that is paying them lakhs and a chance to appear on TV. They think that a white lab coat is a substitute for ‘trust us’, just like an equally white Badaam ka doodh is a substitute for sex in Indian movies.
- Akshay Kumar jumping around in Thums Up ads
Will not go to kirana shop, will steal from delivery truck.
Okay we realize you are great with your Jackie Chan stuff, but it’s been 10 years and we really wish you didn’t need to jump buildings and evade cars just to get a bottle of Thums Up. I mean how bad is the distribution team at Thums up.
- 10 mein se 9 experts kehte hai
- Skin fairness card
Like c’mon, no matter how much cream Nana Patekar puts, he will never get a shade closer to Johny Lever. Not only is the fairness card useless, but it also makes us think that you need to be fair to get a job. No, fair is not equal to lovely.
- Words like Twacha
The only reason this generation knows what ‘twacha’ means is because of Indian Ads. No, I won’t buy your facewash because yeh rakhe mere twacha ka khayal. You really need to think of a new way to sell your cream.
- Firang models talking to us in Hindi
Thanks Loreal Paris, it’s only because of you that my childhood was spent wondering how these firang models spoke better Hindi than me. I used to be dumbfound when they said ‘jado ko poshan, kyunki humein naaz hai khud pe’ with such command. Maybe next time, stick to Aishwarya Rai. Yet another thing I never got, was why the firangs speak to us in Hindi, and the likes of Aishwarya and Sonam Kapoor have a fake accent when they say ‘I’m worth it’.
- Lovely professional university
I mean seriously, with a name like that you are not transforming education and you are definitely not transforming India. Just the fact that you are one of the few Educational Institutes that advertise on TV, shows that you clearly aren’t working.
- The transformation of hair from this to this
Even wigs don’t have hair like that, and after using you product there are more chances of me going bald, than for my hair to look like even a third copy of that kind of hair.
- Selling bikes by showing stunts which the consumers will never do
I do not buy a bike to do a wheelie in the arctic, or to jump over lakes. What I’m looking for is primarily good looks and good mileage. Let’s not turn a simple product into a friggin’ Transformer.
10. Aapko chahiye ‘naya _________’
11. The mine is whiter than yours fight
12. The underwear ads which are about being macho, and not about comfort.
13. “We asked half of the women to do this, and the other half to do that”
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Read 5 taglines that make you go Whaaaa?! here.